


A Man and His Matchmaking Dog

by FreshPrincessofCheyne



Category: DCU (Animated)
Genre: Crack, First Kiss, Flirting, Humor, M/M, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 16:00:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5010922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreshPrincessofCheyne/pseuds/FreshPrincessofCheyne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why Bruce hates (loves) visiting Clark's Fortress. It involves Krypto.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Man and His Matchmaking Dog

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little humorous drabble inspired by a scene in the movie The Proposal! Anyway, hope you enjoy!! Thank you for all your generous support!! It means a lot to me :)

Bruce pulled the shower curtain aside, his fingers feeling along the rack for his towel. When he couldn't find it, he pushed away the curtain, frowning when he couldn't see his towel. Upon noticing that, he also noticed his clothes were no longer on the floor where he discarded them and the door was wide open. Grunting, he curled the vinyl curtain around his body.

“ _Clark Kent_!” He called out. “This isn't funny!” When he received no response, and something rather large, white and fluffy sat in the doorway, Bruce knew exactly who the culprit was. He narrowed his eyes as he climbed out of the shower, taking cautious steps toward Krypto, who had the towel in his mouth. He really didn't want to know what the dog did with his clothes.

“Come here, _boy_ ,” he cooed, his arm extended. “Give me the towel.” When Krypto got to all fours, he wagged his tail enthusiastically as Bruce closed in on him. He watched the man carefully, taking a few steps back when Bruce got closer.

“Oh, _Krypto_ ,” he sung, his voice light. “Come on boy, give Brucie the towel.”

The dog's bark was muffled by the fleecy material stuffed in his mouth. Bruce lunged forward, missing the towel by inches as Krypto jumped back, barking again.

“Give me my towel, you little shit,” he growled, lunging at the dog a second time. Then the dog took off, Bruce having no choice but to follow him. “When I get my hands on you, you're going to be my next _cape_!” He hollered, chasing the dog around Clark's Fortress, completely naked. He nearly slipped a few times but kept his balance as he stayed on Krypto's trail.

The dog made a sharp turn, Bruce managing to trap Krypto in a corner. “Seriously, I am _not_ having Superman find Batman running around his little Fortress naked. Now _drop it_ ,” he demanded, pointing at the floor. The dog only cocked his head to the side, his eyes wide and innocent. “Oh no, don't do that shit with me. You think I'll fall for the puppy dog eyes?” It remained silent between the two, before Bruce sighed, rubbing his temple with his index finger. “Fine. _Fine_. Have it your way, you greedy piece of furry shit.”

Bruce turned to leave the room, before something hit him powerfully, a white blur zooming by as he lost his balance. He fell into something hard and hot, that something squealing in surprise. Bruce fell to the floor, his eyes widening in realization as to what he landed on.

“Why are you naked?” He screamed at Clark, scrambling to get to his feet, his hands on Clark's shoulders. Every inch of his body was pressed tight against Clark's, his cheeks burning due to falling on another nude man, that man being his _best friend_.

“Why are _you_ naked?” Clark retorted, managing to get to his feet. In seconds he was back in his Superman suit, leaving Bruce to his shame, his hands cupping his groin.

“Dammit, don't just leave me without anything to wear!” Then there were gentle hands around him, wrapping him in something soft. It was Superman's cape.

“What the hell were you doing?” Clark wondered. 

Bruce grunted and began to walk away, the cape wrapped tightly around him. “I told you I hated coming here because of that damn thing you call a pet,” he grumbled. When Clark began to laugh, he spun around, his eyes shooting daggers at the man clutching his stomach.

“God, I love that dog,” Clark said.

“Well, _I_ don't. And I'll never come back here, I swear to god.”

“You say that every time you're here,” Clark teased. “Krypto!” He called, the dog immediately at his side. He crossed his arms and Krypto's ears went down as he dropped the towel, his tail swaying side to side nervously. “Good boy,” he cooed, scratching behind the dogs ear as it jumped up to lick Clark's face, thrilled his owner wasn't angry with him.

“What do you mean _good boy_?” Bruce sighed. “The dog hates me, Clark.”

“I mean, I'd understand why. You're kind of an asshole.”

“Oh, thanks,” Bruce said sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he passed Clark, stomping away angrily. He nearly lost his balance because the cape was so long, tangling his feet.

Clark glanced after Bruce fondly. “Bruce, I hope you know if you're trying to look intimidating while wrapped in my cape, it isn't working.”

“How about I strangle you with it?” He said over his shoulder as he disappeared into his room, one Clark had prepared specifically for Bruce. He also altered the temperature in the Fortress to warm enough that Bruce wouldn't complain. 

“I'm forever leaving the Fortress,” Bruce said dramatically from the other room.

Clark rolled his eyes. “Mhm. And I'm putting it up for sale,” Clark retorted sardonically. “It wasn't all that bad; I got to see your cute ass.” The shuffling in the other room stopped and Clark could hear the shift in Bruce's heart beat.

“That's it,” Clark heard, “I'm beating your ass, then your dog's ass.”

Clark chuckled, but rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say, Bruce.”

“ _Whatever you say Bruce_ ,” Bruce mocked in a higher falsetto. “You sound stupid,” he added.

“ _Ohh_ Krypto-” Clark began, capturing his dogs attention. He heard Bruce's frantic footsteps out of the room.

“Don't you dare, Kent,” he warned, pointing a finger at Clark.

He smirked mischievously and snapped his fingers. “Go get him, boy!”

Bruce broke off into a sprint, in nothing but a t-shirt (Clark noticed it was one of his own), and a pair of black boxers as Krypto barked, chasing after him. Clark waited as the two vanished from his sight and he could feel himself smile when he heard Krypto tackle Bruce, an audible grunt coming from Bruce, and a struggle. He counted to three and Krypto came into the hall, with Bruce by the scuff of the shirt, carrying him five feet off the ground towards his owner. Bruce's arms were crossed, his feet swaying. 

“I hate you.”

Clark laughed. This time, when he was dropped in front of Clark, he purposely fell into the man, bringing the both of them to the floor.

“Do I look like a fucking Frisbee to you?”

“If you can call them cute, then yeah.”

Bruce punched his arm. “Stop that. You can't compliment people worth shit. And I'm not cute.”

Clark flipped them over so he was the one pinning Bruce down. Bruce huffed and rolled his eyes, but let it happen.

“You” -he poked Bruce's cheek- “are” -then his chin- “adorable.” he finished, poking the tip of Bruce's nose.

Bruce swatted at his finger, his cheeks turning scarlet. “No, I'm not,” he mumbled, his cheeks still burning.

“Can I call you cupcake?”

“What the hell- _no_!”

“Why not? They're pretty and they taste delicious. I'm sure you're quite similar.”

“I taste good? What does that even- _mmhp_ -” Clark's lips pressed against Bruce's, soaking up the man's words. Bruce's eyes went wide as Clark's lips moved with his tenderly and carefully, as if he were testing his limits. Then, with all thought forgotten, his arms wrapped around Clark and he fell with the kiss naturally, letting Clark guide it. Bruce could hear his own heart beat pound in his ear, his fingers shaking. When Clark pulled away, he kept his eyes on Bruce's, eyes that were full of wonder. He licked his bottom lip.

Bruce was breathing heavily, glancing up at Clark in awe.

“Hey- you never answered my question about being naked,” Bruce spoke softly. Not that he minded, of course.

“I like to sunbathe on the balcony. Makes me feel more energized.”

“Well, I _guess_ I can stay. As long as I get to watch you sunbathe naked.”

Clark laughed. “Why don't you join me?” He pulled Bruce to his feet, their fingers lacing together. Bruce could feel the heat really burn in his cheeks now, and he tightened his hold. As they walked hand in hand and passed Krypto, Bruce kneeled down and kissed the dog's nose.

“Thank you, you little trouble maker,” he whispered. Clark could feel himself smiling, his stomach suddenly assaulted with butterflies. Bruce was thanking Krypto for pulling the two together and if that wasn't perfect, he didn't know what was. (It was also something he'd thought he would never say). He wondered if Krypto had done all of this on purpose. He was a smart dog, after all. He must have given a chance for Clark to finally make something happen between himself and Bruce and he'd be stupid if he didn't take it. And what better way then to bring them together when they're both naked?

The dog barked and licked the side of Bruce's face. “ _Gross,_ ” He muttered, wiping at his cheek.

Clark laughed as he pulled Bruce in for another messy kiss, one full of giggles. He'd have to remind himself to get Krypto the biggest bone he could find. 


End file.
